The main thing the first year of marriage teaches you is that no matter how many books read, how many seminars attended, how many counseling sessions scheduled, how many well-meaning friends asked, no one can tell you what marriage will be like. Because no one has ever been you married to him.
But there is one thing that they got right. That cute little quirk he has? The one that makes him so uniquely him? Things like thoroughly scrubbing oranges before peeling and throwing away the peel? Or things like brushing his teeth the wrong way? The cute little quirk that every married person on the planet told you would drive you crazy post-wedding, but you were sure they just didn’t understand how it was a mere nothing in the face of how perfect he was in every other way?
They were right; it does drive you crazy. Because it turns out that - post-wedding - scrubbing oranges is no longer merely scrubbing oranges, and bad teeth brushing is no longer merely bad teeth brushing. It is scrubbing oranges for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. It is bad teeth brushing FOREVER.
And you just don’t get that ‘til you wake up the morning after The Most Perfect Wedding Ever and he’s in the bathroom brushing his teeth the wrong way and there’s a pile of freshly scrubbed orange peels in the trash.
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